Friday, 8 April 2016

"Three At Once" - Out Now!






















"Three At Once", my new book is out now on Amazon Books and on Kindle.

"Three At Once" is an anecdote-laden handbook about the first two decades of raising Triplets, written by someone who's actually done it - and enjoyed every minute.  Me.

Even if you are not in the fortunate position of having three children of your own age to play with, you'll find "Three At Once" to be a fun-filled yet moving read - for anyone.


It's packed with useful information on everything fathers of three need to know - from conception to car seats, possetting to pushchairs, intensive care to secondary school - and it's stuffed with anecdotes as well.  (Possetting?  Oh, you'll learn all about possetting...).  



Learn to pay yourself a fiver whenever anyone says "Wow! You've got your hands full!"; become the leader of the best gang in town; develop deft skills and talents that will make you the admiration of every other father you meet...


However, because only one parent in 6400 actually has triplets, the book is a rollicking revelation for everyone else.  Eight tons of nappy?  Five months without sleep?  Prams the size of a small aircraft carrier?  What would you do if you suddenly discovered you were having "Three At Once"?
 

Find out!

You can buy the paperback here: 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/1530264901/
 

and download the Kindle version here: 

http://www.amazon.co.uk/B01DKVYN1W/
 
You can also use this link to get a free preview of the first chapter.



 

And 'Anthony Devereaux'?   It's me.  I changed all the names to protect the innocent.  Or guilty.  

It depends on how you look at things...

Tuesday, 24 November 2015

Why TV Promos Need Moderating


Ofcom yesterday published its assessment of two TV trails or promos that appeared on Comedy Central a while ago.   Even though the promos aired at 10.00 p.m., an hour after the watershed, Ofcom thought they were inappropriately vulgar - for any audience.

As a Promo Producer for Bravo, I often worked with what could be considered contentious material. Our promos for such material had to fit within one of two designations: 'SAT' and 'SWC'.

'SAT' stood for "Schedule Any Time", which mean that the material, approach and style of the promo was light enough to not cause any concerns for any part of an audience that might be expected to see it. The promo could therefore be slotted into the transmission schedule at any time the channel was on air.

'SWC' was the acronym for "Schedule With Care" and, as such, was self-explanatory.  Usually it indicated the promo would only be transmitted during post-watershed hours - which in the UK are between 9.00 pm. and 5.30 a.m. on free-to-air channels.  (On premium and pay-to-view channels the timings are slightly different: 8.00 p.m. to 6.00 a.m.).  However, isolated instances could arise whereby the scheduling of a particular item not restricted to post-watershed hours would still require deliberation or sensitivity.  One such instance was when one of our promos for a thriller about a hijack situation on a North Sea oil-rig had to be hastily re-edited because a real, live catastrophe was actually taking place simultaneously on an oil rig in the North Sea.

Ofcom only gets called in if offence is taken, and offence in promos usually relates to a viewer being unhappy about what he or she has been shown.  This is because viewers elect to watch programmes: it's for them to find the 'off' button if they don't like something.  They don't, however, elect to watch promos and they have little control of being exposed to them - which is why Ofcom can be expected to moderate promos on their behalf, albeit usually after offence has been taken.

It works like this.  Once you are happily esconced in a programme, you'll understand the context and parameters within which it operates.  If outrage is promised - and you're looking forward to seeing some - then when it happens, you'll find it totally acceptable. 

But promos aren't something you can settle down into.  You don't know when to expect them: they are discontinuous, full of surprise and content not seen before. They are a stand-alone advertisement for a programme you haven't yet watched - nor possibly will want to.

Promos usually appear at a programme junctions or in commercial breaks, when the viewer is more distractable and less committed to watching that particular moment of television*.  To grasp the viewer's attention, promos have to be different - sensational, even. 

Promos will be watched by all sorts of people - including many who won't be interested in the programme's content or subject matter - and a few who might even find it offensive. They are designed to attract viewers to a programme, even if the viewer gives up once they start watching.  They are not designed to repel them.

Comedy Central overstepped the mark on his occasion because they didn't bear this in mind.  On the viewer's behalf, Ofcom stepped in and reprimanded the channel accordingly.

Promos are happenstance.  Viewers don't make an appointment to see them - and they can't necessarily avoid them, either.

The Amy Schumer clip was extremely crude but in context it was also outrageously funny.  However, like the viewers who complained to Ofcom, I'd be incredibly offended if it was shown to me when I wasn't expecting it.






*As a footnote, the BBC runs no commercial advertisements but runs many promos at programme junctions, cross-promoting its own services.  Initially the BBC saw on-screen promos as being an effective means of extending programme blocks to fill a half- or one-hour slot: much of the external programming it inherits are also  made for other TV markets, and as such would be short in order to accommodate paid advertising.  These days, this is less of a problem as the BBC makes its own programmes for sale to commercial broadcasters as, as such, therefore incorporates 'break opportunities' into the programme format.  As its programmes are shorter, it can use the airtime this frees up to promote its own services.  For example, the on-screen advertising for Radios 1 & 2 on BBC networks is currently estimated at a market equivalent of £80M per annum. 

Monday, 23 November 2015

I Shall Not Be Re-joining The BBC Club....

I was interested to learn of the recent offer to BBC Alumni of (re-)joining the BBC Club.  However, I won’t be applying because I found the place to be a hotbed of physical danger, crass mismanagement, insult and crime.

When I worked at Alexandra Palace back in the mid-70s, I was a constant habitué of the club there and, one lunchtime, ended up in A&E  with a broken nose as a result.  “Sporting injury!" claimed my colleagues as they propelled me into the Whittington Hospital, blood streaming down my face. Horrified emergency staff appraised the situation: “Gosh!  Rugby? Boxing? Ice Hockey?”

“Er, no”, I replied nasally, “Snooker”.

The club at AP had an excellent snooker room and during a game with a fellow member of the Graphic Design team, I questioned the viability of a shot he was proposing to take. It required a lot of edge and a bit of bottom to get the cue ball to glance one of the colours and send it sideways into the pocket.  “It’ll never work” I thought, as I moved to stand behind him and peer along the length of the cue to see precisely where he was going to hit the white, “although, it migh-“.

At that moment, (as should really have been expected), he pulled back on the cue to take the shot.  About eighteen inches.  So all I saw was the rapidly approaching back end of the cue travelling towards me at a rate of knots before everything went black as it smashed squarely into my nose.  Symmetrically, fortunately, because it broke my nose straight on.  You’d hardly know from looking - if I hadn’t been perfectly positioned behind the shot, my nose would now be all over the place. 

Ever since, of course, I can’t stand behind anyone playing snooker without a horrific welling of the sinuses, in anticipation of the great pain this noble recreation can bring.  Even mention of the game brings on a bout of neuralgia.

So for this reason, I won’t be applying to re-join.  That, and guilt; for when I was social secretary of the BBC Railway Society, I sent everyone to the wrong signal box one day, which didn’t go down well with BR management.  They didn’t need a great horde of grumpy anoraks cluttering up the end of platform 8 at Kings Cross.

And then there was insulting the bloke standing next to me in the club at TC one day when he asked my what I thought of the pint of Ruddles County I had just bought. “Not much,” I said, “Tastes like dishwater”.  “Oh”, replied John Ruddles, chairman of the brewery, “Thanks very much…’.

And I still feel unsettled about the time while watching the Test Match on the TV in the club at AP, two blokes in brown coats wandered in and said “Sorry everyone - we’ve got to take this television away”.  They turned the set off, unplugged all the wires, lifted the mighty beast and, leaving us sitting around disgruntled and wondering what else we could do now there was no cricket to watch, carted the TV through the club, out of the doors, through reception and into a van parked outside.  They drove off and neither they, the van nor the television set were ever seen again.

No, life is menacing enough these days without rejoining the BBC Club…

Monday, 22 June 2015

Just So Far...

Ventimiglia, a couple of days ago.

As usual, outside the big frontier railway station, the locals sit chatting over their espressos in the pavement cafés.  Inside, and as usual, across the concourse to the solitary ticket booth, straggles a meandering queue of tourists.

Although it depends what you classify as a tourist.

For, this year, the area around this border station in Italy is much more crowded. It has many new occupants and not just the ranks of regional carabinieri, armed, talking to each other animatedly and directing wayward jaywalkers just for something to do. Rather, most of the new occupants are a quiet swarm of bedraggled souls camped as well as they can on the flower verges and the roundabout.

These are the boat migrants from north Africa, the people who paid extortionate prices for desperate journeys across the Mediterranean to a strange and different continent to leave their difficult pasts behind.  They have made their way up through Italy and now they sit, waiting at the border into France.  And no-one is letting them go any further.



Other than a half hour wait at the ticket office, western tourists have no problem boarding the regular trains that start in Ventimiglia and head west across the frontier to Monte Carlo, Nice and beyond. But the boat people can't.  Even if they were able to stray onto the platforms and climb on board a train into France, at the first stop, Menton Garavan, every train endures a prolonged delay as the French Gendamerie Nationale makes a slow and deliberate inspection of each carriage. The migrants and asylum seekers aren't allowed into France.
























Meanwhile, down on what used to be where Italy's SS10 joined up with the French N7 at the frontier, the crowds are even bigger.  Colourful clothes, flags and banners flap in the warm sunlight as photographers, television crews and would-be immigrants jostle for the shots. Local commerce is thwarted by inaccessibity that the crowds have brought. The road is jammed and any trans-border crossing is slow and very deliberate. You need the paperwork to cross. And the Africans haven't got any.  They hardly have anything.
  
 

But it's back in the marble brutalism of Ventimiglia railway station where the situation reveals its true hopelessness. A major corridor has been allocated as a dormitory, and bodies lie on the floor, resting, sleeping and waiting.  But waiting for what?  The hours pass, the people sit.  There is nothing to do. Physically, it is not squalid, but the dilemma is.  Desperation is palpable. And there’s no indication that frustration - or worse - won’t be imminent.




It appears that no-one is moving out of Ventimiglia soon.

 





copy/photos © Chris Wood-W3KTS June 2015






Wednesday, 7 August 2013

York to Knaresborough: Marketing A Branch Line

With renewed interest in revitalising the services on the Knaresborough to York railway line in North Yorkshire currently in the air, I present the following ruminations on how the service might be promoted...

‘Ouse-Nidd Express’
I don’t think so.  The name will not catch on…
But ‘market’ it, let people know!
“It’s central Yorkshire’s way to go”!

“Trans-Vale Executive - every day
with Business Class from Stray to Stray’!

‘Ouse-Nidd’?  ‘Nidd-Ouse’?
(The men peruse…)
It’s got to have a ‘hook’,
A selling aspect, profile plus,
It’s there if we just look.

Okay, airlines might not lose out
And freight, that’s not its line
But competition must be more
Than just ‘A59’.

Well, other aspects - something else?
Vacation angle, p’raps…
And heritage means revenue -
West Highland, Settle - Carlisle too;
Just look at tourist maps.

“Gothic splendour to the East -
A verdant gorge for eyes to feast
On to the West, then Yorkshire Dales
Rising up…”

Beyond these rails…

Because this is here.  They're miles away

Far beyond the green and grey
Of fields.  That’s all.  Of pigs and cows
Who hear the train, look up and browse,
Like central Ireland, a Polish spring.
It’s the grass round here that’s interesting.

So.
‘Knaresborough - York’:
What can it mean?
What lurks unheard of in between?
Awesome vistas? Mountain ranges?
Orange-groved old-English granges?

None of this.  No ‘selling’ factors.
Pig Sheds.
Silos.
Broken tractors.

No litany of exotic venues, this
No over-familiar names.
But quirky charm you cannot miss
A place of farms, not fame.

No.

It doesn’t even go from A to B but rather K to Y
In ‘ordinary’ railway style.
Lacklustre.  Plain.  Awry.
Does it encapsulate a time
When society really cared?
Or is it just a weary branch line that stayed because it’s there?


No portentous statement of an era
Bringing far-off places nearer
Just stations from which you… start.

Where semaphore and crossing gate
Bear testament to endless wait
For 150s that squeak and grate.

Which way does it come? Will it be late?
An emptiness that makes you dizzy.
Can this line be ever busy?

Yet, once aboard, in cosy heat
On blue veloured and comfy seat -
Was that a bridge?
I mustn’t blink -
That might have been some points I think.

And fishplates clack on single track
Where rusty ballast brown and old
Spills down the bank to rabbit holes
Punctuating telegraph poles…

But level, flat?
I’ll grant you that.

Tedious - but it has connections.
‘Glamour’s just a change away’.

People forget that railways are
A means to reach an end.
So forget ‘romantic’, forget the twee;
It’s a railway line for you and me
To travel when we want to be
Elsewhere.  At ease.  Without a care.

A simple route.  To take us there.

The country should be criss-crossed
With routes as plain as this.
And if we had them, then we’d use them
And we’d give the car a miss.
Different people every journey.
An opportunity to learn,
You do the crossword, read a book,
Give the River Nidd a look.
The sights to see, the smells, the sound -
Become aware of the world around.


Therefore this rural ramble becomes a journey of the mind.
‘Enlightenment’
‘Discovery’
That is what you’ll find.

So there.

Now recount on what we’ve said:
The way our verbal journey lead
Subjectively from A to Z,
And how many things we’ve found to talk
About the Knaresborough line to York

Which, as a line, it works just fine
Connecting Y to K.
A simple link,
Offering time to think.

I hope it stays that way.

Tuesday, 6 August 2013

Llívia - Border Incidents at a Spanish Exclave

With a border dispute in Gibraltar making news at the moment, many people are citing the examples of Ceuta and Melilla, Spain’s own possessions in overseas territories (exclaves), as a good reason why Madrid’s kettle should stop calling the UK's pot black.  Perhaps rightly so.  But, in addition to Ceuta and Melilla which nestle on the north African coast of Morocco, there exists a little-known third Spanish exclave which, like Gibraltar, is located on the European mainland. However (and unlike Gibraltar) there don't appear to be any problems for those wishing to drive into it.

Situated two miles over Spain’s northern border, and surrounded by the Pyrénées-Orientales départment of southern France, is the small and attractive Spanish town of Llívia.  Like Ceuta and Melilla, Llívia is a throwback to Spain’s past but rather than being a vestige of colonialism, its present isolation is the simple result of border changes several centuries ago.  In 1659, the Treaty of the Pyrenees ceded a number of Spanish villages in the area to France although not Llívia, which, as a city, was to remain Spanish.  It had been the ancient capital of Cerdanya and was perceived as too important to give away.  Today it is a quiet tourist centre - location of ‘Europe’s oldest pharmacy’ - with a population of around 1500.

The principle complaints arising in Gibraltar arise from the Spanish insistence on delaying (and possibly eliciting a fee from) cross-border traffic. Such traffic travelling through France between mainland Spain and Llívia moves effortlessly on a quiet highway but this hasn’t always been the case.

Look on any Spanish map and it is the N-154 that links Llívia to Spain.  Look on any French map and the N-154 becomes the D68 for 2 km through France.  For many years, this road, on which foreign vehicles were prohibited until 1995, formed a crossroads at its junction with the Avenue Emmanuel Brousse - the deceptively unassuming name given to France’s main N20, the European trunk route E9, in that particular area.  And it was here that belligerence (from both countries) raised its ugly head.

For the Spanish, the concept of having to yield to foreigners on what they considered a direct link between their own cities was out of the question.  For the French, the N20 linked Paris to the Pyrénées and was a prime artery on its national road network. 

Unsurprisingly both countries claimed right of way at this junction and it became the site of ‘la guerre des stops’.  Priority became a matter of national pride. For years any ‘stop’ signs erected by one country were quickly taken down by the other and, unsurprisingly, the junction was the scene of many horrific accidents until the Spanish built a flyover - El Pont de Llívia - in 1983.  (To add a certain frisson to negotiating the dangerous intersection, a level crossing with a 3rd rail electrified narrow gauge railway - ‘Le Train Jaune’ - was also incorporated into the site). 

Closer to the exclave of Llívia, a less expensive compromise was reached when a roundabout (described, for some reason, as ‘lovely’ in local tourist literature) was constructed at the junction of the link road and the D30, the only other French road it crosses, which serves nearby villages.  Even here, however, jingoism had its way.  Despite having four roads feeding off it, the roundabout featured an astonishing number of no-left- and no-right-turn signs festooned along each of its approaches, which prohibited all traffic from going anywhere other than straight across. Other than giving way to the left, the two nations could cross each other’s path in relatively calm oblivion.

And it is this very European D68/D30 solution by which the Gibraltar problem can be solved.  We might ask our old allies the French to tax the Spanish as they pass through their sovereign territory (the French could keep the income as ‘foreign aid’) but that would be unnecessarily confrontational. No, visitors to the rock should do what the Spanish and their neighbours do at Llívia - and which motorists across Europe do elsewhere to this very day.

Ignore the stop signs.

Friday, 15 February 2013

A Film Review

There will be those of you who recall my old pal Vernon Thornycroft.  Still floundering in the depths of pedagogy, he got in touch the other day to send me an interesting article from his archives.  It relates to a film made by his amanuensis (and my friend) Simon Broad, which I recently had the chance to see and enjoy.  I understand the BFI is considering a limited-edition release: I hope it goes ahead - the film is worth £29.99 of anybody's money.

The review was written by the internationally-renowned film academic Raymond Dogdirt and appeared in a 1974 edition of the well-respected film magazine "Screen & Sound".

I thought you might like to read it.

A STAGGERING OPUS - “Let The Dog See The Rabbit”
 

“Peter’s our biggest headache - professionally speaking...”

This tour de force from emerging writer and director Simon Broad presumes from its audience a uneasy conversance with its complex plot. Yet it can. This is familiar ground - and it is to the ground, downwards, that we look as the story begins on the footways, steps, the very earth from which our spirits emanate: the symbolism of the extractor fan - from where does it extract? A sequence of textured down shots as a young man - Noël - searches for an entrance - but an entrance to where? The doorway - when he eventually finds it - will be a portal to what? A fulfilled promise? An encounter? Imprisonment? Or worse?


And why does Noël search for “Richard Hart” when it is Peter we need to discover?
Broad’s portrayal of torpor as his protagonists fabricate their irksome relationships is overwhelming. This our territory, but with them in charge.  It has never been so eerily uncomfortable.


London. And as a grey embankment drifts drearily away to Tomila’s Reverie, parallel themes emerges. Conspiratorial voices, dull administrators in lifeless offices, ponderous telephone calls, a Whitehall even Deighton would reject as moribund. The players take their time. It is the only weapon they have.


But Peter.  Where is he?  Where is this man with “lots of faces, for different occasions - self-centred to a frightening degree”?


Broad’s use of Rundgren’s ‘Initiation’ throughout the film is ironically apposite - for few here are being initiated. Collusion is rife: in their enclosed world they investigate potentially boundless realms, yet this is a film about entrapment and captivity. Any one is restrained by another. All are imprisoned within their own tortuous machinations. Even we, as audience, yearn for release. Yet we reject it.


Is that Peter? 


Is that him struggling silently through a post-coital cigarette with Roland? It could be. Sarah loves him. They all love him. Despite Peter's “naïve romanticism”, his “pseudo intellectual ramblings” and "brandishing a flowery pen”, they love him.  Why shouldn’t they?  Isn’t Peter the escape they - we - you - I - all covet? Where is he, anyway?

As an essay in entrapment, ‘Let The Dog See The Rabbit’ is faultless. Even a frenetic walk through the racing traffic of Aldgate or cruising past hydrofoils on the Thames leads no-one to escape. We are all ensnared in the same melancholy intrigue.


So is this “about peace and self-development alone"? Is it a world where "one makes one’s own rules”?  If so, how can it be? 


And where is Peter?

Broad’s captivating use of 1⁄2” monochrome videotape perfectly enregisters the gloomy environs of his libretto. Ugly camera angles, awkward pans and anomolous pacing position this film at the forefront of a British ‘nouvelle vague’ (and I put the accent on ‘vague’). The flow has started, it has yet to reach its crest. What will the denouement be? What will our denouement be? 


And what happened to Peter?

This magnificent work deserves your fullest attention.  It is a masterpiece.  Bravo, M. Broad!  


(It certainly beats all that bollocks I foist onto my General Studies students at St Martin's every Tuesday night...).

Raymond Dogdirt - Screen & Sound.    May 1974.

Tuesday, 16 October 2012

A Paean To The Wave

Thoughts on the Demise of Smooth Jazz Radio


I listened to a CD last night. One I sent off for because it contained a track I really liked, one that I had heard on radio. While I was listening to the track again last night, it crossed my mind that, when it comes to finding music on the radio, things aren’t as easy as they used to be.

When I say ‘radio’ I mean radio over the internet, because the radio stations around here don’t play my kind of music. I’ve always enjoyed what is labelled as ‘Smooth Jazz’ and had become pleased at discovering online a small number of radio stations specialising in this field.  Perhaps unsurprisingly most of these stations were in the United States.  I found that in many instances the Smooth Jazz output was offered as supplementary programming to established stations in the big cities, and is broadcast digitally on a sideband of the parent FM signal.  This is known as HD radio - an appropriate name because although it implies High Definition and sounds pretty good, it actually means Hybrid Digital.

Over the past couple of decades CBS Radio ran a string of Smooth Jazz stations, most of which branded themselves as ‘The Wave’, usually contorting their call-letters befittingly.  Yet it’s been over twenty years since Kenny Gee jammed with Bill Clinton and styles go in and out of fashion and defined formats lose their commercial impact.  Recently many Smooth Jazz stations have disappeared.  For example, KTWV in Los Angeles has moved away from Smooth Jazz into the adjacent Urban Adult Contemporary format, although it does retain a ‘classic’ Smooth Jazz output on one of its HD carriers.

Or so I believe, because I’m no longer allowed to listen to it.

In February 2010 US music stations suddenly began to disappear from the internet.  The day I discovered that my favourites weren’t there any more I contacted the station manager of V98.7, the Smooth Jazz station in Detroit to ask why.  He apologetically pointed out that “The Men In Suits” had discovered that CBS and other networks weren’t paying international royalties for internet promulgation of any music they played and that they would therefore be exposing themselves to litigation. It was a case of “So long, loyal listeners, but tough. We have copyright problems”.

Let me explain.  Here in the UK, if we see or hear American programmes it’s because a UK broadcaster has paid for the rights to show them to an audience to which the American broadcaster had no access.  This is well and good: if I enjoy JR in Dallas (again) I should pay Larry Hagman for his efforts. My payment to Larry will be an infinitessimal fraction of the tangle of income the station gets from ad breaks, my cable or satellite subscription or the licence fee we have to pay in this country.  All artists whose work is broadcast should be remunerated in a similar way.

On the internet, when I listened to Euge Groove on The Wave in Los Angeles, Euge was unlikely to receive any income from me because I’m not part of the audience The Wave presumes to receive income from. Elsewhere in LA - and, to a diminishing extent, across the US - listeners would be expected to have access to, and be familiar with, and occasionally utilise, the products and services of the station’s advertisers. People buy what the advertisers offer, the station gets paid and Euge, down the line, gets his cut. Because I’m off their map, “The Men in Suits” do not see me as part of this equation.

But Euge does receive income from me - and probably the kind he likes the most.  When I heard his track on the radio I went out and bought the album.

In February 2010, things changed.  CBS radio websites - using the "Men In Suits" - analogy apologised that CBS radio would be henceforth unavailable in my location and directed me and any other would-be listeners to Last.fm - which is okay but totally impersonal. Sites such as smoothjazz.com hint at being regular radio stations, suggesting a regional provenance and giving a call-sign on the hour, but they lack the presenters that give a radio station its roots.  A great selection of music, undoubtedly, but little else than just another iTunes stream.  Radio needs to come from somewhere.

These internet-only stations haven’t got a guy telling me about local weather or the gig he went to last night or what I might be missing out on at the weekend. They lack ownership, they lack a location.  They lack the companionship that real radio brings. 

Forget relentless chatter, which can be found everywhere. I want someone to play me my kind of music and frame it in terms of the real world.

So what are my alternatives? Somewhere in the UK we have a station called Chill, which is becoming increasingly difficult to find elsewhere than online.  Even when it was available as ‘radio’ I never went for Chill because its music majored on ‘relaxation techniques and the relief of stress’.  Sounds like a pretty negative listener base to me, and one I don’t particularly want to be part of. I suppose, if you think about it, 60% of ‘Chill’ is ‘ill’.  But 'stress'?  Me?  I always thought I felt pretty upbeat - and I like Smooth Jazz because it makes me feel even better.

My best online option in Europe at the moment appears to be Deluxe Lounge from Germany.  But it’s still a sterile, human-free feed, and I’m more likely to find myself listening to Ketil Bjornstad from Liepzig than Bobby ‘Hurricane’ Spencer from Almeda. The Almeda in LA, not Spain.

The only North American Smooth Jazz output 'with people' that I’ve found since “The Men In Suits” moved in two years ago comes from a Canadian website, a vestige of a potential Toronto radio station which failed to obtain its broadcast licence back in September.  Its playlist is very much ‘The Wave’ but, for me, it is still lacking.  I know it and I should have commonality by sharing an allegiance to H.M. The Queen but, despite this, the magic isn’t in Southern Ontario.  It’s in LA.

I really enjoyed working at my desk listening to The Wave.   A time difference of between five and eight hours would mean that every morning here in the UK I could listen to overnight and early hours programming from across the US.  Once the traffic started clogging the freeways of western Florida on WSJT in Tampa, and the breakfast presenters shuffled in with their orange juice, I’d travel north west to the cool darkness of V98.7 in Detroit. Then to the dusty heat of KHJZ  Houston.  And then finally to KTWV in Los Angeles, passing the time savouring cool and comfortable music emanating from cities across the continent as they slept.  And, all alone in most of these stations would be a single presenter, a sentinel in the night, linking the tracks and providing companionship for the sleepless, sharing a vigil through the early hours and, importantly, imbuing the music with a sense of place.

Thin support for Smooth Jazz format stations often meant that output had to be pre-programmed and, as is always the case, if things are to go wrong, they go wrong when there’s no-one around to fix them.  On more than one occasion I’ve heard the same 15 minutes go out twice, unchecked.  I preferred KTWV in Los Angeles because it has an overnight presenter who knew what he was doing.

Bill Dudley seemed a regular guy.  In his occasional interventions between the music he would gently enthuse about the artist featured and the tracks played.  Knowledgeable, yet understated, and unlike the laid-back, assured yet vacuous voices of many radio presenters, Bill’s was honest and genuine. He worked mammoth shifts to a fiendish schedule so it perplexes me that he maintained such gentle enthusiasm. I admired the courtesy with which he painted pictures of the events peppering the station’s calendar. While the music played I imagined him writing his articles for the station blog.  Perhaps he maintained his composure because the daytime clutter of phone-ins, competitions, traffic and weather was still some hours away, the remit of day-time colleagues concurrently basking in the arms of Morpheus.  It was him and the music.  Bill didn’t need to know that as he headed for home with dawn breaking over Wilshire Boulevard, I was on my way back from lunch in the Station Tap.

But it’s been over two years since I last heard Bill.  His programme, like those of all his confederates, has been deemed by “The Men In Suits” as being unremunerative.  As it sells nothing to me, no-one benefits as a result of me listening to it.

Except that I don’t think this is entirely the case, because KTWV was one big - and successful - advertisement in itself. The fact that I’m talking about it now means that I am aware of what it does.  It sells itself, it sells its music and it sells the lifestyle of the city it comes from.  Listen to it and you feel the nocturnal heat of a slumbering giant, you see the streetlights glistening towards the Pacific. High above its miles of building, you’re hearing the calm and confident soundtrack of Los Angeles as it shimmers through the night. It’s ‘Collateral’ without the menace. LA is never asleep but with Bill, for this moment, it is at rest.  More than anything, you want to be there. 

I want to gaze at glass, steel and concrete high-rises towering over empty streets, to feel warm zephyrs dancing across traffic-less boulevards, to watch stoplights change at deserted intersections. But I also want to stay in a great hotel, drive to that restaurant, enjoy drinks and the music at the bar by the ocean, experience the thrill of the concert downtown. I want to experience the world that Bill talks about - and goes home to every morning. I want to spend my time and money in LA.  Nothing could be a better advertisement.

Tell that to “The Men In Suits”.  Despite what they think, Bill and his friends did a flawless marketing job.  Because its programming was different it sounded distinctive and the place it came from sounded fabulous.  Radio deserves to be a success when the community it seeks to serve benefits from the services it provides. And those benefits are often indirect.

But that was then, and this is now.

Time to play the CD again.

Monday, 8 October 2012

Travel. A Tip. An Absolute Tip.


Recent experience reveals that the Arab Spring appears to lack a constituent element familiar to those of us more familiar with the British season. The spring clean.

Sidi Bou Said is a closely-packed medieval maze of houses sitting on a hilly Mediterranean promontary in Tunisia. With breathtaking views south over the Gulf of Tunis and west over the bustling capital, it is an ancient and pretty town, home to the rich and influential. Its glistening white buildings and narrow cobbled streets are consequently host to daily swarms of tourists disengorging from cruise ships berthing at the port of Tunis, twelve miles away.  Despite the tourists and the clutter of souvenir stalls set out to serve them, the streets of Sidi Bou Said look surprisingly clean.

Step a couple of yards away and you’ll find out why.
Sidi Bou Said - taking steps to avoid litter...
Rubbish, anything from incidental litter to commercial rubble more suited for landfill, has been tipped over the nearest wall.  Wander off the well-trodden tourist track, to explore the hill down to the marina possibly, or to experience the magnificent views from the hilltop and you'll soon be aware of the town’s detritus,  dumped unceremoniously somewhere close by, ostensibly out of sight.

Three miles away is the ancient city of Carthage, founded 3000 years ago, a site pivotal to the gestation of our civilised world. Dotted with temples, amphitheatres and an ancient harbour, Carthage is, unsurprisingly, a World Heritage site.  Like Sidi, Carthage is a desirable place to live and its avenues and roads are bordered with opulent and luxurious villas. 

Carthage - cradle of civilisation or cradle of filth?
Unfortunately, it takes a similar approach to rubbish disposal.

When it becomes impossible to photograph anything other than a carefully framed view already locally available as a postcard, shouldn’t tourists start to challenge the people who look after these places?  They do it with hotels and restaurants, why not other attractions too? These locations rely on an income from tourists but, unlike other comparable ventures, lack any purposeful infrastructure which can invest in the upkeep of the attraction that brings in the tourist.

So should World Heritage sites lose their accreditation if they fail to be kept up to scratch? Hotels and restaurants lose stars or rosettes if standards are let slip - why not the amphitheatres of Carthage?

Yet despite being a dump, it would be unlikely that a refuse-laden site such as Carthage would cease to feature on tourist routes because it has such intrinsic historical significance.  This significance overrides any apprehension which might arise from the comments of previous visitors. But shouldn’t there be some onus on the husbandry of such sites? And shouldn't the drawbacks of such places be given greater prominence? Shouldn't they be shamed into tidying up?

The tourist industry is pretty shrewd at avoiding such dilemmas. It conspires with locals to do little as possible about the problem.  Tourists are given few opportunities to see the rubbish: they are bussed in and out of locations and, when on foot, corralled along carefully manicured routes to either the attraction itself or accredited souvenir vendors who surround it.

If you enjoy the dichotomy of landfill sites passing off as world heritages sites you won't have a problem with this.  But if you don't, I propose a couple of solutions.

One: don't be an "organised" tourist - you're subscribing to the conspiracy if you are - and two: start taking photographs of what’s really there and show them to as many movers and shakers as possible.

Perhaps then will places start thinking about cleaning up their act.

Thursday, 24 May 2012

Le Belvédère du Rayon Vert



Travel 273 miles up the coast from Valencia and the moment you cross the border into France you will find a different architectural conundrum.  Looking more wistful than winsome, is the Belvédère du Rayon Vert.

Towering above the sleepy bay of Cerbère the Belvédère du Rayon Vert is an art deco hotel designed in 1928 by local architect Léon Baille. It is a gaunt and extruded structure, proud yet lifeless, disproportionately large to be a comfortable part of the pretty little seaside town lying far below.   There should be light glinting from its windows but they are dead, empty, like the eye sockets in a skull of pallid, rotting concrete.  The building has been shamed into dereliction because it no longer serves a purpose. 
 
It was completed in 1932 to offer luxury accommodation to travellers passing through the adjacent railway station on the French-Spanish border.  Passengers would be required to interrupt their journey for customs formalities and subsequently to change trains, because the railways of neither country could offer a through journey due to a difference in gauges.  The entrepreneurs of Cerbère saw a chance to offer a service to these inconvenienced voyagers.  They built a hotel. 

These were confident times and, capitalising on the theme of glamorous international travel, M. Baille took inspiration for his design from the transatlantic liners of the day.  His hotel had its own cinema and ballroom and offered its guests the opportunity to play tennis on a roof-top court.  Created to provide a sumptuous overnight sojourn during travellers’ long hauls around the Pyrénées, the hotel’s focus extended beyond the inconvenienced rail passenger.  In an effort to attract the few but well-heeled gentry now opting to motor their way along the Nationale and across the border to the south, the hotel maintained a fully-equipped service station and garage on its ground floor. 
 
The five-storey building teeters on a narrow, rocky triangle of land between the railway and a precipitous cliff which tumbles down to the cobalt blue Mediterranean.  Whether any of the residents of yesteryear gazing from its verandas out to sea in the moment before sunrise ever glimpsed the elusive ‘rayon vert’ is not recorded, although the romantic notion of doing so would be intrinsic to the luxurious atmosphere pervading the seductive elevations of the Belvédère.

But the Belvédère du Rayon Vert has been disused since 1983.  It stands today crumbling and neglected, without purpose and, despite being listed as a protected monument in 1987, anyone who wants to look after it.  Squatters occupy a handful of top floor rooms. The mirrors in the ballroom are broken and the lobbies stand derelict.  Chunks of concrete are missing from the exterior staircase and the flourishes of its flamboyant design lie in a parlous state.
 
There are few reasons to pass through Cerbère these days. The international E15 motorway replacing the coast road passes through the mountains far inland.  A dozen or so local trains arrive at the local station from both countries during the day, but connections are poor.  Land travel is not the means by which Europe now elects to visit Spain and today the sky above the town is criss-crossed by vapour trails as aircraft speed travellers to their destinations.  Journeys are now completed in a couple of hours. No overnight stay is required en route because arduous customs procedures no longer exist.  The hotel is totally redundant.
 
Yet even though the Belvédère du Rayon Vert no longer takes guests, it remains a formidable piece of architecture, well worth a visit. 

Even if you can’t stay.




   




The Devil in the Detail


Pardon me slipping into the Valencian for a moment but the Ciutat de les Arts i les Ciènciese (the City of Arts and Sciences) is possibly Europe’s most beautiful architectural achievement of recent decades.  Designed by Spanish architect Santiago Calatrava and completed in the late 1990s, it is a collection of monumental buildings spread along the abandoned bed of the River Turìa in Valencia.  These are giant, organically elegant structures that not only embody purity of form but serve a cultural purpose too.  Concert halls, cinemas, museums and galleries are enclosed within outstandingly elegant exteriors whose overall design is rightly applauded across the world.  I adore the overall look of the place. 

But the devil is in the detail and something is amiss in the City of Arts and Sciences.  

The colossal size and shape of Calatrava’s structures mean each is recognisable from far away.  Yet what if a visitor en route to the Planetarium needs to visit the lavatory? How are the locations of such lesser amenities to be identified?  A signage system is required. 
Many visitors will come to experience the whole site for itself.  Some form of transportation will be needed to assist them to travel around, because this vast project covers many hectares and an hour’s walk in the debilitating heat of the Valencian summer is out of the question. Also, all that heat means refreshment will required, so some form of catering facility will be needed. 

Did any of this appear on Calatrava’s brief?

These are all minutiæ that make up - and, in fact, finalise - the successful execution of a project envisioned to capture the engagement of the general public. We can assume that if Calatrava had been responsible for the design of such minutiæ, they too would incorporate an iconic allure consistent with the rest of the project. 

But he wasn’t.

Someone else was. Someone who hadn’t a clue.  As a result, these almost inconsequential aspects of the appearance of The City of Arts and Sciences are now as glaring in the valley of the Turìa as a wart would be on the nose of the Mona Lisa.

The sign system is reminiscent of a holiday camp: sticky letters on arrowed board featuring a questionable graphic interpretation of what walking looks like.  If the cinema can look like a giant eye, why can’t the walker look like he can walk?
Transport around the glistening ethereal arena is in plastic railway wagons, pulled by a noisy diesel-powered replica 19th century Wild West steam locomotive.  
The cafeteria is of a style reminiscent of a East London dog track.  Rubbish bins stand sentinel to a crate-laden fast food stand around which are scattered chairs and tables. It is tucked into a niche at the base of the Science Museum like a grimy rash of mould on an uncleaned bathroom floor. 
Yet the organisation's management appears to be unbothered with these incongruities and its official publicity appears impervious.  To what extent do these component flaws contribute to the the “bold strokes” and the “futuristic image” of the design of this iconic City of The Arts and Sciences?  Signage is blunt, crude almost.  The train is the antithesis of “avant-garde” (or "21st century") and the catering stall spectacularly fails to “harmonise” with the “architectural complex of exceptional beauty” it seeks to serve. 

It is bewildering that those responsible for permitting the design of these aspects can remain insensitive when they are immersed in the workings of such a fabulous project. Confidence and imagination oozes from every square millimetre of their surroundings. 

When did the inspiration run out?
"... like mouldy grout on an uncleaned bathroom floor".


Monday, 26 March 2012

A Swift Two-Thirds

I read in the newspaper the other day that Heineken were introducing a new size of glass for their beers.  At two-thirds of a pint, the new size is seen to offer an attractive option to people who don't particularly want the volume of a pint yet dislike the ignominy of being seen holding a half.

A sensible idea.  The glass is an elegant and agreeable design and, I was informed, a legitimate measure for serving beer, as two-thirds of a pint has become an officially recognised capacity for the presentation of alcoholic drinks in the UK in the last year or so. I seem to remember one third of a pint, or a 'nip', as having been around for some time: it was a sensible means of being able to enjoy stronger drinks which if presented in any larger sized glasses would swiftly render the imbiber senseless.

So making a glass twice that volume available for normal strength beers is a good idea, and especially so for those who feel they might wish to cut down their intake. The idea of having three drinks yet only two pints is an appealing one.

In practice though, I'm still undecided whether this glass is better or worse than the others. In order to find out, I had two-thirds of a pint in one, then a regular pint in a pint glass, then a half in a half glass, and I couldn't decide.

So I had another, then a half, and then a pint but sill couldn't make my my up.

After anoth two pines then one of the new thingy ones I think a half but the pine 'cause the two thirty one more the half is pints best.

Two thirs ver good, super ide. Ver good.

Backing a mo. Just going to...

Thursday, 15 March 2012

Disappointing Pizzas

The huge black stones from which the walls are built around the old town in the heart of the chaotic city of Naples may well be volcanic.  However, I wonder if their greasy and almost unattractive patina might possibly be down to the fact that they enclose the birthplace of the pizza, and that their glistening sheen might therefore the result of hundreds of years of oil and cheese hissing, spitting and bubbling away as pizzeria ovens carry out their daily work.
 
Yet a visit to the ancient city a couple of years ago was disappointing - on the gastronomic front, that is. The pizza has conquered the world, so one might assume that here, in the square mile of its conception, a definitive recipe may still exist.

Well, it does. Unfortunately.

Extensive research revealed a very limited number of variations.  Trudge the stone-sett streets and peer into the tiny cave-like pizzerias tucked in to the base of those titanic stone colonnades and in the old town of Naples you will find only three kinds of pizza on offer.  Cheese, tomato and (for those who feel like splashing out) cheese and tomato.

And that's it.  Half a mile to the west, the glistening Mediterranean teems with anchovy, octopus and shellfish.  The hills of Campania towering over Italy’s fourth richest city abound with cattle, poultry, fresh vegetables, olives, nuts and fruit, yet none of these make it across the A56 autostrada at Capodimonte and into the city to embellish what is a disappointingly frugal repast.

It has taken the rest of the world to acknowledge that Naples has only created a base (literally) to work from. Wonderful, imaginative and delicious variations crowd the menus of pizzerias around the world, yet Naples is bereft. In some puritanical way, the Neapolitan has eschewed the attempts of incomers to corrupt his staple meal and, as a result, since the dawning of the pizza age, nothing has been allowed to change.  Even in 2004, a law was passed to ensure that the recipe for a true Neapolitan pizza remains constant: wheat, yeast (the law specifies which kinds) tomatoes, oil and salt. The cheese, if added, must be a locally sourced Mozzarella.

Of course, if anyone wanted to change what the Neapolitans started all those years ago, it is not just the weight of the Italian legal system that they would find coming down on them.  The people of Naples can count on some pretty influential cronies to help them preserve their status quo...

So it is the rest of the world that has taken the pizza by the horns and dragged it into the 21st century.

In Rwanda's bustling capital city of Kigali, there is a very popular Italian restaurant which offers a comprehensive range of pizzas on its menu.  Last week, my man there paid it a visit with a group of friends, and they all enjoyed a meal together. However, having glanced through an internationally familiar menu and ordered, he was a little put out when his pizza arrived.  It was of distinctly vegetarian appearance, an attractive presentation of red, yellow and green peppers.  But it wasn't what my man thought he had ordered.  "Where's the sausage?" he wondered.

He called the waiter over and asked to see the menu.  Sure enough, my man had made a simple oversight, and not even in reading the small print.  Somewhere down the line into darkest Africa, the transliteration had gone askew.  Yet the kitchen had obediently adhered to what was printed in the menu. 

My man hadn’t ordered “Pepperoni” after all. 

He'd ordered “Pepper only”.

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

Barry Clayton

My friend Barry Clayton died this morning.

I first tracked Barry down twenty years ago.  Tracked down, because once I’d heard him, I had a professional need to find him  I had heard his voice on a TV commercial for a compilation CD of Heavy Metal hits.  Barry had many claims to fame and in the unlikely field of rock music he was known as the voice of ‘the beast’ in Iron Maiden’s single ‘The Number of the Beast, from 1982. The band’s original choice to read the lines was Vincent Price, who was too expensive, so Barry was selected.  I spent days telephoning around record distributors and advertising agencies in order to track down this voice and eventually I found it.  Barry was booked for my next commentary session - I was producing on-air trails for Bravo at the time - and, six weeks after hearing him for the first time, I met him.

Rather deprecatingly, he introduced himself as ‘Vincent “Cut” Price’, but his voice was so much better than that. It could be seductive, mellow, assured, authoritative and powerful within the span of a single phrase.  I came to work with him on a regular basis, and he became my voice of choice: we both revelled with him grasping, moulding and manifesting the commentaries I wrote, promoting Bravo’s extremely dubious range of movies.  “Wrath of the Wendigo” was the first shlock-horror voice he performed for me, and to this day I am proud to have his mellifluous tones on my showreel, promoting all kinds of films and television series and events.  I love his reading for the trailer for David Kronenburg’s ‘Dead Ringers’, marvel at the build-up he creates in ‘Fear, Fright and Fantasy’ (no amount of alliteration would ever put him off) and immerse myself in his confident, all-knowing delivery of the promos for the MTV series ‘Dead at 21’.  Our work together on ‘Hammer House of Horror’ won the Promax Gold Award for Best Trailer.

Not surprisingly our friendship beyond the audio studio developed, and we began to contrive reasons for lunch together after our recording sessions.  During these happy repasts (“I think we could squeeze in another bottle of Pinot Grigio, don’t you?”) I came to learn of his astonishing life story.

He was born in Sheffield.  Every time we met, he would greet me in a thick South Yorkshire accent, congratulating me on managing to escape from “Oop North”. (I usually did a Rita Tushingham impression in return, dumping my bag down on the busy pavement and staring up at the buildings as I whispered in awe: “Lunn-dunn…!”).  I was surprised to learn that he had been born with a cleft palate - not something one would expect in a successful actor, presenter and voice artist - because you could never tell. As a boy he was exceptionally close to his mother and he recounted to me an incredibly moving tale of how the two of them found themselves at the quayside in a northern French port the days after the Second World War broke out.  They were approached by a young Jewish woman whose only chance of survival was to escape to England.  Barry’s mother gave her her own passport... 

Barry was a socialist and an internationalist: the words probably ran through him like the letters in a stick of rock. I believe his father had fought in the Spanish Civil War. Barry grew up embracing the concept of a world without borders: in addition to an impressive repertoire of  European languages, he was fluent in Esperanto.  He trained as an actor and moved to Poland, where he became the English voice of Radio Warsaw. It was here he met his future wife and, from what I can make out, the fact that she was a nuclear scientist and he wasn’t Polish didn’t fit in too well with the authorities as the Cold War limped impotently forward. 

They returned to the UK where Barry joined Joan Littlewood’s Theatre Workshop in Stratford East - anecdotes he would recount from this time were hilarious.  He met Lindsay Anderson who recommended he contact Granada Television, which he did: he signed up and worked as a producer with the writer and journalist Brian Trueman and they spent many happy years reporting on the more topical daily life in the north-west of England in ‘People and Places’ the fore-runner of ‘Granada Reports’.  The two of them, tasked with ensuring the viewers saw their own world reflect on the small screen, would pore over the map of the region, identify a locality they hadn’t visited recently and then dig out the Good Food Guide, before setting off to the likes of Kirkby Lonsdale for a couple of hours filming followed by an award-winning and totally disproportionate dinner.  Barry was always impressed at the supportive way in which the Bernsteins took a personal interest in the way Granada's creative staff worked.

Yet London called, and Barry became producer and presenter on Capital Radio’s “London Tonight”, which he co-hosted with Anna Raeburn.   These were the heady days of commercial radio and Capital was the standard by which all other stations were measured.   Only the other day I found recordings of Kenny Everett, another star from the Capital firmament, and was delighted to hear Barry turn up as narrator in Everett’s ridiculously funny space serial ‘Captain Kremmen’.  “Oh yes,” Barry once told me, “Kenny would regularly stick his head around the office door, grab me and drag me behind a microphone to read something outrageous...”.  Barry moved on to BBC Radio London and launched ‘Black Londoners’ with Alex Pascall.  He also produced films on architecture, about which he was passionate, and he subscribed prolifically to a wide range of the arts.

He could not abide politicians and loathed the way the world ran itself.  Our meals together were spent lambasting the status quo, agreeing on the absurdity of people in power making such a mess of the world they contrive to improve.  We put the world to rights every time.

This last year wasn’t kind to Barry.  His advancing illness meant that during a happy and otherwise totally coherent conversation, he would begin to speak on a subject, not knowing he had already done so a few minutes previously.  I didn’t bring this to his attention and nor did I mind, because he was always such fun to listen to.  Perhaps he thought there was a chance he might get repeat fees - voice artists rarely do these days.

Barry died in a care home at 6 a.m., at the start of the shortest day of the year, and I’m terribly upset.  Because of this, I may have confused some of the details in what I’ve written above, but you get the picture.  He was a very special man, a kind and warm character, immensely talented, perceptive and a demonstrator of exquisite taste.  Even better, he cared about the world.

And he was a very, very good friend.

Tuesday, 22 November 2011

On Street Art

The gathering dusk on Friday afternoon found me walking past the ugly buildings of Nelson Street in Bristol city centre.  I was delighted to discover that the dreary 60s monoliths that once accommodated faceless bureaucrats and now contain students (a nice transition) have been superbly decorated with giant graphic murals.  These dreadful concrete structures, totally without ornament, have their blind and blank expanses now covered with exotic patterns and wistful portraits many storeys high.

Bristol’s reputation for street art appears to have taken another step forward.  What were previously perceived as illicit forays with an aerosol have now been recognised as valid social decoration and, as such, the poachers have now been employed by the gamekeepers in order to brighten up the place they share. This enlightened change of council policy was worth investigation. The people with their finger on the pulse of Bristol’s street art would know.

It was a mild evening in Bristol and, as traffic darted up the atypically clear Cheltenham Road, lights glowed in the shop fronts of the People’s Republic of Stokes Croft. Adjacent to the PRSC headquarters in Jamaica Street, the launch of an exhibition of portraits of local residents was taking place in the old Carriage Works.  In true PRSC fashion everyone was made welcome and, over a free and toothsome pint of Butcombe Gold (generously provided by the brewery), I got into conversation with Chalky, one of the organisers. 

We talked about ‘See No Evil’, the city’s strategy last summer to bring street art to its centre.  Yet I was surprised that Chalky failed to share my appreciation of El Mac’s 10-storey high Mother and Child and its like.  He agreed the initiative had certainly delivered stunning imagery across one of the centre’s grimmest quarters but, for him and the stalwarts of the PRSC, the feast of art down the road left a bitter after-taste.  Apparently, commissioned by the Council, street artists were flown in from around the world in order to participate in the summer event.  Several of Bristol’s street art luminaries were also involved, and contributions of paint and materials were acquired from established practitioners of the city’s street art scene. 

The reason Chalky was so underwhelmed was soon made clear. Four months later, many artists remain unremunerated. Gallons of paint were used, yet bills remain unpaid. Chalky still hasn’t got his ladders back. I was given the impression that the Council appears to want the whole affair swept under the carpet. Yet many dozens of thousands of pounds are involved.

This is a familiar and disappointing tale.  Bristol is renowned for indigenous talent in this field yet, as in much these days, ‘authority ‘ felt it needed to stick in its oar and take over.  For a fraction of the cost, the city’s inhabitants could have authored and executed their own imagery.  Didn’t the Council know the world’s leading lights in street art were their own residents? Why wasn’t the work commissioned from community organisations such as the PRSC?  Was it that the Council wanted to cash in on its street art scene but didn’t actually want to engage with its own residents, with whom it may have endured the occasional skirmish over recent years?

This is a shame.  The self-imposed agenda of the PRSC is “to work with the nature of the built environment, to improve through painting, to act gently and to care for the fabric of the area”. It would have made a wonderful job of Nelson Street, employed dozens and saved the rate-payer thousands. 

And Chalky would have his ladders back, too.

Thursday, 6 October 2011

On Where British Radio Went Wrong

In addition to TV, websites, publications etc., the BBC runs around eight national radio services plus a clutch of national, regional and local stations. Its licence fee also  supports the World Service, until recently funded by the Foreign Office, in addition to some of S4C and the costs involved in the switch from analogue to digital broadcasting.

New cuts will inevitably affect BBC radio, but if the Government hadn’t made such a terrible decision 45 years ago, the BBC wouldn’t be facing the dilemma it is today.

I believe that BBC radio was in its heyday back in the mid-60s.  Britain was a liberated, creative cauldron, exciting things were happening across all aspects of society, and the BBC was a means by which the nation could discover and explore what was going on.  It ran three national networks: the Home Service, the Light and the Third Programmes.  Journalism and drama formed most of the Home Service output, the Light Programme thrived on music and entertainment, and the Third Programme studied classical music and the intellectual world.  And that was it.

However, just over three miles out to sea, rusting hulks broadcast pop music to the millions ashore yearning for something different, contemporary and beyond the domain of the mandarins of Portland Place.  It was the success of pirate radio that prompted Harold Wilson to become suddenly aware that people were enjoying something that his Government couldn't control.  In a very British knee-jerk reaction, hasty legislation cut off the revenue stream to the pirate stations around the country, and reconstituted the BBC to serve their audiences.
 
It was a mess.  The Home Service became Radio Four, the Third Programme Radio Three, and the Light Programme an uncomfortable hybrid of Radios One and Two.  Uncomfortable because, in their early years, they shared programming: it was not unusual to find a programme exploring the depths of prog rock followed by 'The Organist Entertains'.  Pop music programming was rationed, because the BBC had no facilities to promulgate it.  Restructuring the behemoth to accommodate it would take time.

When the Conservative Government came on the scene a couple of years later, they opened up the airwaves to operators of local commercial radio stations, the first of which, LBC, opened on 8th October 1973: the first music station, Capital opened a week later.

It was this six year hiatus since the pirates were forced off the air on 15th August 1967 which skewed the development of radio in the UK irredeemably.  Instead of encouraging the commercial talent and opportunities the pirates offered by legalising their services and making them land-based, the Government prohibited them and used the hefty might of the BBC to create its own take on pop music broadcasting.  The innovative edge those maritime stalwarts brought to our transistor radios was lost forever.  Local popular music radio had to reinvent itself over the next decade, and by the time the whole country had its own pop stations in 1980 that fresh edge had withered and died.

Yet there had been a one-stop solution.  Frank Gillard, having exhaustively studied local radio in the US, was behind the BBC developing it in the UK: its first station opened in Leicester in 1967.   But the US model is a commercial one: how on earth did the government ignore this and give the UK local radio network to the BBC?

This disdain for commercial radio in the UK in the sixties precluded any new local radio stations from effortlessly assimilating the work of the pirates onshore.  The London-based BBC needn’t have been involved and would have continued excelling itself with its three national networks,  expanding over time to provide rolling news and sports services using existing facilities.  Popular music would have been left to the people who did it best.  Specialist stations would have eventually arrived, operated under the aegis of established operators (much as HD stations are in the US today) and accommodated within existing spectrum. 

Therefore, if Wilson’s Government hadn't taken such exception to the commercial sector offering the public something previously unavailable (and at no cost), the state of British radio would now be so much better.

And the hopelessly over-indulged  BBC wouldn't find itself today having to divest itself of 20% of what talent it has left.